Work-family guilt: A straightjacket keeping parents into traditional gender roles

Abstract

The belief that mothers experience more guilt than fathers about the time and energy they invest in their work instead of their family is pervasive in Western society. It has even been claimed that mothers should learn to manage their guilt as a way to keep them motivated for their career. This would reduce gender inequality at work. However, research on the guilt that parents feel about working is sparse. It is unclear if mothers experience more work-family guilt than fathers and how work-family guilt impacts the work-family choices of parents.

Lianne Aarntzen demonstrates in her dissertation that parents' guilt about working indeed shapes their work-family choices. For example, on days that mothers experience more guilt, they are also more likely to think about reducing their working hours. However, Aarntzen also shows in her dissertation that the extent to which fathers and mothers experience work-family guilt is predicted by gender stereotypes in our society. As such, only in some contexts mothers experience more guilt than fathers. For example, when parents work in a "father-friendly" organization, in which not only mothers but also fathers are supported in their work-family balance, gender differences in work-family guilt are absent. In such organizations the norm is communicated that mothers and fathers are both equally responsible for the care of their children, which may reduce mothers' work-family guilt.

An important recommendation emerging from this thesis is that rather than focusing on “fixing” mothers, we should focus on “fixing” the social and organizational context in which parents are embedded.