I’m incredible—or am I?: On the socialization of fragile self-views in children

Abstract

I’m incredible—or am I? This is a recurring and daunting question for children with fragile self-views, whose feelings of self-worth crumble in the face of setbacks. What are the origins of children’s fragile self-views, and how can interventions reduce the fragility of children’s self-views? The current dissertation addressed these questions. Doing so, it combined multiple methods—experimental, observational, intervention, experience-sampling, and multi-information longitudinal methods. The findings show that fragile self-views are rooted, in part, in seemingly benign socialization practices such as person praise (e.g., “You are great!”) and inflated praise (e.g., “You made an incredibly beautiful drawing!”). Although well-intended, these practices can put pressure on children to continuously demonstrate their worth. Consequently, children may avoid challenges and feel bad about themselves when they fail or struggle. Brief, psychologically precise interventions can reduce the fragility of children’s self-views. For example, reflecting for 15 minutes on experiences of unconditional regard gives children the feeling that they are valuable for who they are, even when they perform poorly, up to weeks later. These findings show that self-views, although residing in the privacy of children’s minds, do not develop in isolation: Children readily internalize socialization messages from others to form their self-views. The findings inform parents, teachers, and practitioners about how to help children develop firm and stable self-views.